This certainly cannot end well, can it? I finally get to take over the White House and they want my moment of triumph - and the entire movie - delayed.
The real reason for the delay is not the 3D conversion, but that Obama doesn’t want it to look like I took over so soon before an election. He’s got to keep strong, even if it means kicking G.I. Joe fans in the junk.
Hey at least now you’ll get to see it all happen in 3D. BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? I HAVE NINETEEN FUCKING EYES!
She almost put Cobra out of business and did a damn fine job nearly destroying the world with that terrible yet also catchy song. I hope the world ends on a Tuesday. I never get down on Tuesdays. That’s because I hate Tuesdays.
I have spent the last several months avoiding LOST spoilers on the Internet. I should have just saved myself the time by first Googling, “Does LOST have a shitty, disappointing ending?”
Upside: at least it wasn’t as bad as my life turned out to be. Also, Matthew Fox is dreamy.
flapjack-theking asked: What is your favorite Cartoon Network show?
I quite enjoy The Venture Bros. I would like to meet The Monarch. He and I would have some good times, let me tell you.
inthelandof-finn asked: Your blog is algebraic
I leave the mathematics to Dr. Mindbender. I was only ever good at dodgeball due to survival instincts.
finnsblog1 asked: What time is it?
It’s time for pancakes!
JAIL! Jail is a place where they don’t let you have Internet access, at least the jail I was in. Now I hear Cobra’s mind control experiments with Charlie Sheen in the early 80s have finally started to pay off! COBRA! Now all I need to do is find the keys to my house.
I also need a new house.
I’ve been so busy scheming ways to make money the legitimate, old-fashioned way (buying bad mortgages and reselling them at thrice the price, thereby ensuring destruction of the world’s economy) that I have forgotten that I sometimes like to write down my thoughts in this little blog.
What’s on my mind right now is how my bathtub managed to get a hairball the size of a cat in its drain.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jazzed about this new G.I. Joe DVD set coming out that puts the whole series in a massive 17-disc collection.
But I am not lying when I say that series depicts me in an unflattering light. But at least I look cool.