I have spent the last several months avoiding LOST spoilers on the Internet. I should have just saved myself the time by first Googling, “Does LOST have a shitty, disappointing ending?”
Upside: at least it wasn’t as bad as my life turned out to be. Also, Matthew Fox is dreamy.
flapjack-theking asked: What is your favorite Cartoon Network show?
I quite enjoy The Venture Bros. I would like to meet The Monarch. He and I would have some good times, let me tell you.
inthelandof-finn asked: Your blog is algebraic
I leave the mathematics to Dr. Mindbender. I was only ever good at dodgeball due to survival instincts.
finnsblog1 asked: What time is it?
It’s time for pancakes!
Not one of finer moments, but I’m all for admitting past wrongs and moving on.
But I still hate Nemesis Enforcer.
JAIL! Jail is a place where they don’t let you have Internet access, at least the jail I was in. Now I hear Cobra’s mind control experiments with Charlie Sheen in the early 80s have finally started to pay off! COBRA! Now all I need to do is find the keys to my house.
I also need a new house.
I’ve been so busy scheming ways to make money the legitimate, old-fashioned way (buying bad mortgages and reselling them at thrice the price, thereby ensuring destruction of the world’s economy) that I have forgotten that I sometimes like to write down my thoughts in this little blog.
What’s on my mind right now is how my bathtub managed to get a hairball the size of a cat in its drain.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jazzed about this new G.I. Joe DVD set coming out that puts the whole series in a massive 17-disc collection.
But I am not lying when I say that series depicts me in an unflattering light. But at least I look cool.
I am weak, but at least I have some protein in me.
For the past few months I’ve been having problems with my digestion. I chalked it up to the fact that I always eat everyone’s leftovers on Bacon Days in the cafeteria, but when I was backed up days after Bacon Days, I realized something had to be done.
Tomax showed me this infomercial where this man who yells at the camera tells viewers how full of crap they are. You can’t make this stuff up! Well, actually evidently you can make this up, because Dr. Mindbender told me that all your poop comes out eventually anyway. He muttered, “like when you die” under his breath but I pretended not to notice. So there you go. Those folks on the TV are lying to you about your insides, and yet I’m the bad guy!
Anyhow, weeks into this vegetarian thing and I seem to be doing all right. I just really miss the bacon sometimes.
As I haven’t been on the Tumblr in so long, I was suprised to see this new thing called “Tumblarity” in my dashboard. What really sucks is that it has a big zero beside it. What does this even mean? Are they just trying to make me feel bad? Time to hit the bottle of Jack.
